Inner Voices


Disclaimer: I don't own them, just fooling around with them for a while.  I'll put them back, I swear! *G*


Style: Free Verse Poetry


Category: Angst with a dose of H/C on the side


Warnings:  None really, other than -- be very wary of what you're about to read.  My muse took me to a place where I haven't traveled to in years and while it hasn't changed much, it has changed.


Thanks:  To CarolROI (Even if you're not into poetry), PattRose1 (who is and was nice enough to read this for me) and to Kimberly Workman (who also read this, liked it and was wise enough to tell me the "style" name for the "poem" that is about to start.


On to the work….


Inner Voices

02 July 2000

Suisan "Sue" R.



Every day, or as often as I can

Without complaint I'm by his side

The way it should be, right?

I think so, that's the important thing.


                                           Always there, even when he's not

                                          I can tell, there are times that he'd rather be

                                           Somewhere, anywhere, but here

                                           Can't say I blame him, I'd like to leave too.


Never thought it would come to this

It was supposed to be short term

Now?  I know better and am wiser

I'm in for the long haul.       


                                           When did I lose control of this?

                                           And how did it happen?

                                           I need his friendship, his guidance

                                           And yes, God, I need his love.


I never had a brother before

That's how I think of him

The other half of my soul

Can't tell him though, he'll think I'm nuts.


                                           Steven and I were never close

                                           I resent that, what Dad did to us

                                           But I have a new 'brother' now

                                           Just can't tell him, or he'll think I'm nuts.


Damn, what is it this time?

He's zoning, in the middle of this?

With bullets hitting nearby?

Endangering the sentinel, I move.


                                           Slammed to the ground, pain in my side

                                           Jarred back to reality, what is he doing here?

                                           Wetness, slick and sticky, warm

                                           Shit!  Blood, his blood, my guide's!


If I could breathe, I'd be laughing

It's so obvious, he thinks I'm hurt

I am, but I was wearing my vest

Just gotta catch my wind.


                                           No!  I was supposed to protect him, now he's hurt

                                           Damn, no he's not, I pick the round out of the vest

                                           Then who's blood?  Oh, never mind, it's mine

                                           Damn, that hurts.


He was lucky.  No, we both were

The bullet that had hit him

Hadn't buried itself into his body

Just deeply grazed tender flesh, near the ribs.  


                                           "Turn down the dial," yeah, right

                                           Easier said than done this time

                                           Seventeen stitches, on my left torso

                                           Itches, I think I'm allergic to the tape.


George looks at me, relief evident in his eyes

Poor man's been dealing with us for a while

I hear he's to retire from nursing soon

Maybe we can get him a Thank-You gift.


                                       He didn't deserve that, I'm being an ass

                                       George is a damn good nurse and paramedic

                                       Lord knows he's probably sick of seeing Blair and I 

                                       Bet he's looking forward to retirement.


He hates the wheelchair, but it's policy

I'll buck 'the system' when the cause is right

But not when I'm trying to get my friend

Out of the emergency room in one piece.


                                         Damn wheelchair, can't he push any faster?

                                         I've been here for hours and the noise

                                         And odors are making me ill

                                         Ah, the door, fresh air and freedom.


Color is better, doesn't look so green now

Can't say I blame him, I didn't like the ER myself

Man, he's been hitting the burger joint again

Got to get him on a better diet.


                                         My truck, my beautiful Sweetheart

                                         What a lovely sight, too bad I can't drive

                                         I try not to lean too heavily on him

                                         Hand Chief the keys, fool.


Well, what do you know?

He's not protesting my driving, too much

Damn backseat driver, shut up will you?

I've been driving since I was ten.


                                         Whoops, shouldn't have said a word

                                         White knuckled hands grip the wheel

                                         Just shut up and let him drive, Ellison

                                         He's a better driver than you are.


Okay, I can do this its only three flights

How does the song go?

"He ain't heavy, he's my brother?"

Yeah, a brother that weighs a ton.


                                        O ne arm around his shoulders, the other on the rail

                                          Why did the elevator have to be broken tonight?

                                          My ears are ringing, what was in that shot

                                          Door, home, tired, bed please?


Door open, lug partner inside, close door

Whoops, he's about to flake out

<Sigh> One more flight of stairs

"Come on, Buddy.  Bed time."


                                          Joy.  Happiness.  Soft sheets and a heartbeat

                                          Nearby that belongs right here.

                                          I know that now and should tell him so

                                          In the morning…zzzzzzzzzz


He's out for the night

Just hope he doesn't do the guilt trip

I made my choice, I belong here.

By his side, forever, Guide to his Sentinel.





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