Immolation

A poem inspired by TSxBS

06 January 2002

Suisan "Sue" R.

 

 

Notes:  This poem was inspired, not only by the last episode of The Sentinel, but by a few lines a fellow poet sent me in an IM Session when she got stuck.  BethB is the other poet and here are the lines she got stuck on:

Life's dream falls from open hands,
And shatters,
Never noticed,
At my feet

Well, I read those lines, started thinking and what you're about to read is what resulted.  It's totally different from where Beth ended up going with her poem and we used the examples of our poetry evolution to show two writer's lists (SentinelAngst and TSGenFic) how poetry can evolve. 

 

 

 

Immolation

 

Life long dream, all my hopes, fall from open hands

Shatter and splintering shards lie at my feet

Is the price too high?

Is there a limit?

Limelight or friendship

Privacy or publicity

What price am I willing to pay?

What about him?

We never really talked -- not really

Would he be willing to let the cat out?

Risk absolutely everything?

Am I?

The ultimate conundrum

A puzzle with no true solution

Do this and it'll lead to that

Do that, it'll lead there

Which path do I chose?

Pain and destruction or fame and adulation?

Friends who, I hope, will understand

Enemies who will seek to test the man

No rest for the weary, no rest for Jim

I know -- now -- what I must do.

The choice was ours to make

But stolen from us by fate

One electronic bit at a time

I hope Jim understands

I do this for us

No.

I do this for him.

To give back what my carelessness took

My words, my whole life's work

I never intended to cause such pain

Simon, Megan, Jim…

Forgive me.

Deceitful sounds fly into space

Heart constricts causing discomfort

Throat tightens so hard to breathe

My steady composure crumbles and fails

I lie to protect -- I lie for him.

My life's dream shatters, falling into deaf ears

I break apart, inside, while no one notices

The vision is over

Never meant to be

Or was it?

I can no longer see the bright shining dream

Only scorched earth surrounds me

My heart, turned to char, dies

Finally, oh, finally he sees.

Tortured ice blue eyes are open

Seeing the truth that lies within

The heart, once ashes, like the phoenix rises

Beating the life giving tempo once more

I find myself daring to hope

Holding tightly to Pandora's Box,

The lid swings open

Hope soars high

My dream is still there

Renewed…

By friendship.

 

~*~*~ End ~*~*~

 

Go To Inner Honor, part 2 of Immolation -- Click Here

 

Back To Poetry Evolution -- Click Here

 

Back To Stories Page -- Click Here

 

Email Suisan -- Click Here